One of the great benefits of lesbian relationships used to be that there was no expectation of permanence. Women were together because we loved each other, and when that love didn’t lead to endless bliss, we could split up, relying for neither on the assistance of clergy, lawyers or file clerks. Remember when radical lesbian feminists would have sooner died than gotten The Man, in the form of the state (or the State, if you prefer), involved in their intimate business? Okay, so I don’t remember those days either, but I think of them fondly from hearing and reading the stories of those who do. I will never, ever fathom why so many lesbians want to get tangled up in the web of the state as some kind of arbiter of the legitimacy of their relationship. Some years back at Michfest Catie Curtis performed a song asking her girlfriend to “make an honest woman” out of her, and most of the crowd applauded wildly while I was on the verge of upchucking my savory lentil stew with brown rice onto the grass. I mean, way to completely accept and internalize heteropatriarchosupremacy, wimmin womyn women! FFS.

From a post originally published 4/16/2008


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